almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
