whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
