erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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