she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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