I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Randomize
