Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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