What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
