we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
