How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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