Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
