Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
