Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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