Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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