Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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