what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
