And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
A+ Viking dick
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
