I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
