The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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