I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
