id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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