Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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