Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
