As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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