i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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