they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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