we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
