My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
