All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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