Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
