he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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