: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
