Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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