I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
