That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
