Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
