I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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