I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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