I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
