Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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