Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Found your dick twin last night
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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