Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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