I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
