trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
