I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
