there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
