New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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