Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
