It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The maid of honor just puked.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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