I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
