yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
