I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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