I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
